Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize