You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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