So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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