i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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