If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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