My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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