tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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