I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
