I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
