last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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