yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
