Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
