Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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