Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
