Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
