Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
