: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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