Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
