did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
