I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
