You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize