I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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