Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
