vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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