I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize