Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
