4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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