is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
