Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
