I puked a lego.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
