things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
