I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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