WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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