I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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