You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
