last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
