i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
