My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Randomize
