i permit you to call me
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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