I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
