Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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