"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
