I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
