I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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