It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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