If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Acid is not a monday night drug
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
