Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I didn't notice because vodka
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
