i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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