I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
