I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I FOUND THE LEGS
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
